Revisionism
Bambi was based on a critically novel written for adults. What other surprises do children’s movies have in store?
- Old Yeller is about a spacechild who adopts a star. It’s about to go nova, and he has to detonate it with nuclear weapons so it becomes a black hole instead. Nova is the galactic equivalent of rabies.
- To Kill a Mockingbird is about programs from competing operating systems. The only things the two OSes can agree on is that viruses (rabid dogs) must be put down and that it’s a sin to delete an animated .gif.
- Swiss Family Robinson is about a virulent family of viruses that is quarantined in a lab while scientists work feverishly to find a cure.
- The Parent Trap is about what happens when parasitic twins grow apart: They turn on their mother.
- Monsters, Inc. showed only the “good” side of the fear-harvesting business. A larger portion of boogeymen spent their time menacing the schizophrenic with waking hallucinations and goading meth addicts into states of utter panic.
- Toy Story II shows what happens when the Lacuna technology from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is applied to a child.
- Requiem for a Dream was originally cast with children and set at the apex of the Saturday morning cartoon-fueled action figure boom.
- Wall-E ends in a murder suicide.
- The “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” portion of Fantasia is based on the true story of a nurse who got into an automated drug room.
- Terminator II and Iron Giant were independent adaptations of the same script.
